There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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