I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
