we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
