I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
