New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
