"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
