Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
