Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she peed on how many people?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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