There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
