I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
