Its about making memories worth repressing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
bring money and cleavage
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
