My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
