D3 body, D1 cock
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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