I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
try to milk me bitch
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