he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
