there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
