He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As shirtless as possible
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
