You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
