so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
