But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
