what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
