haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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