you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
