Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
