dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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