Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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