I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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