It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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