Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think my vagina is haunted
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
