Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
