my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
