So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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