So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
