he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
