There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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