At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
