hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
