chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
