so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
