so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
