hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
