No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
