i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
