How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
