My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
