so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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