Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i believe in u and ur pee
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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