dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
