Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
