You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
