I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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