i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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